They’re Only Little Things… So Why Am I So Overwhelmed?

I’ve been using an exercise with quite a few clients recently called baggage, and something I’ve noticed is that often we don’t realise just how much we’re carrying in the background.

Sometimes there is one big thing that is obviously causing us stress. But sometimes there isn’t, and this is where it can be hard to notice all the little things until it is all too much.

When you look at them individually, they honestly feel like they wouldn’t (or sometimes ‘shouldn’t’) be causing any stress at all.

It’s only an email – only a phone call – only making an appointment. It’s only something that needs doing around the house – only a little decision that needs making. They’re all little things, aren’t they?

But if you have written each ‘little’ thing down, it can look really overwhelming. And that is how it all feels in your brain, this is why stress can be so tiring, so draining, especially when you aren’t aware of how much they are playing on your mind.

Sometimes we don’t realise what we’re carrying, I think we can get very good at dismissing the things that are bothering us.

It’s not important, It isn’t a big deal, It’s only a little thing, I’ll do it later, Other people have much bigger problems, I shouldn’t be stressed about this.

But something doesn’t have to be huge to take up space in your brain.

• A conversation you’re putting off can keep popping into your thoughts.
• An email you haven’t answered can sit in the back of your mind.
• A decision you haven’t made can take up mental energy every time you remember it.

And when you have lots of these things happening at once, it can become difficult or to work out why you are feeling so overwhelmed.

What actually is the baggage exercise?

The first part is simply getting some of those things out of your head and somewhere you can actually see them and sometimes that alone can be useful.

You might look at it and think:

“Oh! This is what’s been going round my brain.”

It can be surprisingly difficult to see how much mental space we’re using when everything is floating around in our heads. Once it’s written down, we can start to look at it differently.

• Which actually need to be done?
• Which can wait?
• Are there concerns or thoughts that cannot be quickly resolved?

What could someone else help with?

What have I taken responsibility for that actually isn’t mine?

What am I carrying because I feel like I should?

And sometimes, perhaps most importantly:

What don’t I actually need to carry at all?

It’s not just about prioritising

One of the things I’ve really liked about using this with clients is that it isn’t simply another way of making a to-do list.

It can certainly help with prioritising, but prioritising isn’t always about deciding which task is technically the most important.

Sometimes it’s about noticing what is taking up the most space.

And sometimes the answer isn’t:

“I need to get this done.”

It might be:

“I need to ask someone for help.”

Or:

“This isn’t actually mine to deal with.”

Or:

“This can wait.”

Or even:

“I don’t need to do this at all.”

That can be quite a powerful thing to realise.

This activity won’t be helpful for everyone, all of the time, and that is important.

I don’t believe in giving everyone the same strategy and assuming it will work in the same way.

In fact, I’ve had a client where I decided that completing the Baggage exercise wasn’t going to be helpful for them at all because it is not how they process at all, and the visual would be very overwhelming in itself. ( I have a different strategy I used for this client)

What I like most about the Baggage exercise, isn’t that is makes you more productive.

It isn’t about getting a to-do list.

And it certainly isn’t about proving that you can carry everything yourself.

Baggage is about noticing what you’re carrying and deciding what you want to do with it, and sometimes it might simply be:

“No wonder I’m feeling overwhelmed. Look at everything I’ve got going on.”

You don’t always need to solve everything immediately.

Sometimes you just need to be able to see it.

Want to try it?

I’ve created a simple Baggage Template to help you get some of the things taking up space in your head out where you can see them.

I’ve also included a short guide and an example to help you get started

And remember, you don’t have to fill it all in.

Start where you are, and take it at your own pace.